In the words of Ms. Kim, "I've been gone for a minute, now I'm back with the jump off."

This post was actually inspired by the delicious medical drama "Grey's Anatomy" and a conversation with one of my close friends, the ever so wonderful Ms. Trotman (waddup S. Dizzy?)

So in this week's episode entitled "Start Me Up" we're introduced to a patient who was trampled by horses. In an effort to make their civil union a special moment, his partner hired a bagpiper and horse-drawn carriage to take them to City Hall. Unfortunately, the bagpiper startled the horses and the injured party was unable to move out of their way in time.

Quite the battle wound story, huh?

Now, it's not so much the injury that I want to discuss, but the events that set the stage for the whole thing.

The victim, a man, and his partner, another man, were on their way to City Hall to sign paperwork that would recognize their commitment to one another. In the words of the patient's partner:

This was supposed to be the best days of our lives. You think I'm silly, I know... with the horses and the bagpipes. So does he. We don't get marriage... we get domestic partnership. We get to go to City Hall and stand in line and sign some paper. Mail it in if you're even more romantic. So call me crazy, but I just wanted the big day that everybody else gets. He's the best thing that's ever happened to me and I wanted it to feel like that. Not like some trip to the DMV. I wanted it to be special.

For him, a wedding (read: legal marriage), is a way for him to show his love and dedication to the one person who brings him joy, but, because of the laws of the land, he and that person are denied this ceremony and all that comes with it.

Now, regardless of what your views of marriage are, I have to say that I love the way the writers crafted it in this episode.

In the show there are three main sets of marriages - Cristina Yang and Owen Hunt, Meredith Grey and Derek Sheperd, and Teddy Altman and Henry Burton.

Legally, Yang and Hunt's marriage is recognized by the gov't and it works because the two characters love each other. Although their history is full of all kinds of personal demons, the two saw past that and realized that the other was their perfect compliment (if you couldn't tell, they're my favorite couple, but I digress).

When it comes to Grey and Sheperd, their marriage is not recognized by the gov't. Rather than going through a ceremony or City Hall, they showed their love and dedication through a Post-It note. While unconventional, it works for them because that's the relationship they have. They recognize it as a marriage and so do those around them.

Now, for the relationship that makes my whole analysis work, Teddy Altman and Henry Burton have known each other for about two episodes (I'm not sure how long that is in real people time). See, Burton has a treatable cancer, but due to his lack of insurance he was discharged from the hospital. Teddy, being the great doctor that she is, decides that she can't let him walk out of Seattle Grace (the hospital) to die so she does the only obvious thing and marries him so he can use her insurance.

Yeah.

While what she did was awesome and commendable, if you want to look at her marriage under the lens of the other two mentioned (amor), then it's a mockery of the institution. Throughout the episode it becomes clear, as if it wasn't already, that she knows nothing about him - no idea about next of kin, no idea about what he would want in a life or death situation, nada.

So... why is it that two complete strangers can sign a piece of paper committing them to each other, but people who have been together and honestly want to be together can't? To use the words I quoted earlier, Teddy and Henry literally took "a trip to the DMV".

For me, this episode highlighted how warped marriage has become. Whereas it used to be about love, nowadays it's come to be about gender. In all honesty, marriage is just another method of control. Did you know that there are over 1,100 federal statutes in which marital status is a factor in determining/receiving benefits, rights, and privileges? (Don't believe me? Want to see a list? Click here .) That is outrageous! By determining who can and can't get married, the government is essentially controlling how money is spent. There is no love in this, only politics.

Now one can argue that marriage hasn't always been about love and you would be right; you only have to look at arraigned marriages to see that. These unions are still going on in some parts of the world and even some parts of the United States (albeit called other things and executed in various ways). ... The arguments can be made, but that's not what I'm looking at.

I'm looking at the fact that people can line up for over 1,100 privileges just for the heck of it while others can't because of gender. At the end of the day, love is love, no matter who's involved. The way I see it, I'm not in the room with them, so why should I care?

In the show, Meredith and Derek are forfeiting these rights and privileges voluntarily. They view marriage as love and don't need the government to acknowledge it. The patient and his partner aren't given that option, they're legally forced to. Why? I know the legal mumbo jumbo people spew ("because the government said so"), but honestly, why?

Religious belief? Last time I checked, there was a separation of Church and State so that shouldn't really factor into the decision making. I can also discuss how religion as a reason is kind of iffy in itself, but that's for another day.

Personal preference? Cool ... but last time I checked the people in power were supposed to work on behalf of the nation as a whole, not themselves.

So... honestly, what would happen if people of the same gender were able to be married as defined by the government? ... I'll give you a second. ::Dora blink:: That's right! They'd be married! Why is that so bad?

...

I didn't really mean for this to be a political statement, just an observation of how the writers of Grey's shaped marriage. I'm not sure if it was their intention, but I truly appreciated the fact that they looked at it and crafted it in a way that laid out the facts. Is there any question as to why this show gives me life? Goodness.

Long time...

no talk.

It's been mad long. Like... wowsers. The next post (when I have time to actually sit and devote time to it) will be an update.

In the meantime I leave you with this: http://vimeo.com/12838603

Make my day.

Avatar Surfin

If you've seen Avatar watch this video. I don't like the song, but I just HAD to put the two together:

Tall People Surfin from DeeMizzle on Vimeo.

Who Am I...

... to say what love is?

Love is one of the most powerful things a person can experience in their life, a sentiment that gives life it's meaning. Whether it's love of self, a friend, object, family member, or of the romantic nature, everyone at some point has experienced it.

So, who am I to say what love is?

To say who can love who and how they can show that affection.

I am a young woman who is attracted to the opposite gender. That is how I choose to live my life, that is what makes me comfortable.

But, who am I to say what love is?

To tell another that their version of it is skewed. That what they feel for another is wrong

I never understand why people have a problem with homosexuality. If the people in question are happy, why aren't you?

I strongly dislike when males are homophobic because, more often than not, they feel as though they are at risk somehow.

Get off your high horse and stop flattering yourself.

Not every female is attracted to you, so what makes you so sure that every homosexual male will be?

Now I'm in no position to judge another person, but if you're going to dislike something, please have a reason that holds water.

Who am I to say what love is?

I'm only a person who dreams of someday finding the love that others have been blessed with. The kind of love that transcends distance and time. The kind that is so meaningful that persecution and prejudice fails to tarnish it.

...

The end.

Random musings II

Not gonna lie, I waited until today to post because then it would be exactly a month since my last one. Yeah. That's how my mind works sometimes.

Today I had the illest epiphany during my morning commute. I was thinking about how wonderful it was outside and that got me thinking about how it was all because of global warming which is now known as climate change and is believed to be the result of what was referred to as the greenhouse effect way back when.

So, the following is what I wrote as I got off the train and walked ten minutes to my internship. Thank goodness for the notepad feature of the Crackberry:

*Ahem*

---------

The only thing that makes sense is that nothing makes sense. People go through life trying to name the nameless, explain the unexplainable, and predict the unpredictable.

First it was the greenhouse effect, now it's climate change. First it was trench warfare then it was the never ending threat of nuclear detonation.

We overanalyze, misread, and become cognitive misers only to fall short. Sometimes we get it right, but more often than not we miss a pivotal factor. In this seemingly never-ending choose your own adventure, each step we take leads to another, until we end up in a place with no idea when we chose the road that led there.

In life, contentment is average. Like in school you have your overachievers and those that could care less. Those who go through life planning and those who go with the flow. Those who try to cheat their way through and those who panic if they don't get the result they expected. To some, failure is not an option, for others it's expected. Some want to be the best, and some just want to pass. And in the end, we all get the same result.

Nothing makes sense. Everything that you know is only true for that moment. You're not the same person that you were when you started this. And no I'm not saying that these words are life changing, just that moments have passed by. Your older than you were when you started this. Use these next few moments wisely.

Sixteen counts

Last week I had jury duty.

I got to the court house at 8 AM (read: 5:45 wake up call) on Friday and left at 4:45 PM with a seat in the jury box. At first I was heated. This would mean I'd miss up to two weeks of school/work.

I went back to the court house on Monday morning intent on helping the judge to see my point of view, but alas 'twas not the case; on the trial I had to remain.

Despite my frustration, I have to admit that as the lawyers gave their opening statements, I was immediately captivated by the Law & Order episode playing out in front of me.

The defendant was facing sixteen counts of drug trafficking and various gun charges. As the lawyers went through the witnesses and evidence, I found myself predicting when objections would be called and trying to piece together the pieces that made up this trial.

When it was all said and done, the jury was left to deliberate the case after three days of testimony. After discussing the case, looking at the evidence (over 1.5 kg of cocaine, two machine guns, ammunition, several pistols... dude was locked and loaded) and going through our notes, the group quickly found the defendant guilty of all charges. When it came time to read the verdict we left the room confident that we reached the right decision; there was no doubt, reasonable or otherwise, that the defendant committed the crimes in question.

As the foreman read each verdict, a list of sixteen 'guilty's, tears came to my eyes. I couldn't bring myself to look at anyone in the room, instead choosing to focus my attention on the books behind the judge's seat.

I, along with my peers, sent a man to jail for fifteen years.

Now, as I mentioned before, there was no doubt that the defendant was guilty of all charges against him. Between expert testimony from the detectives both involved in the investigation and not, to chemists and ballistic experts who confirmed the evidence to be what they clearly were, the defense had nothing to go on. The prosecution really did not have to work too hard as seen with the short trial.

But, all this aside, I sent a man to jail for fifteen years.

Yes he was guilty, and yes the judge made the sentencing decision, but I could not help but cry for the man who would miss over a decade of his life.

Think of all the changes that have occurred between 1995 and 2010. Imagine going away fifteen years away and just returning. Hypothetically speaking, a child that was born the day you left would be in high school right now...

Everyone makes decisions, some better than others, but no matter the end result, there is a starting point that got them there. Yes there are things that are inexcusable, but everyone has their reasons and for them, when it came time to make their decision, it most likely seemed to be the right, or only, one.

So yeah. I had jury duty last week, and while it was interesting to sit there and see the justice system at work, it was horrible to sit there and decide someone's fate.

Sweatshops

I have work to do. I should do the work I have to do. But -

A few minutes ago a friend and I got into a discussion about sweatshops and it was pretty much amazing. I'll give you the SparkNotes version:

When many people hear the word sweatshops, they immediately consider it something horrific, an enterprise that should be abolished.

I disagree.

Hear me out.

As an institution, there is absolutely nothing wrong with sweatshops; the problem lies in the way this institution is executed.

A sweatshop is nothing more than a place of employment. For many, working in a sweatshop guarantees clothing on their back and food on their table. Yes, by our standards the wages earned are horrific, but let me say this again, by our standards.

Let us not forget that the United States is a nation in which we, for the most part, demand, comparatively, the most expensive things. Our cheapest items are, by the standards of others, things they have to save for years to purchase.

Yes I agree that often times people who work in such establishments are mistreated, but it is not the establishment itself that is at fault, it is the manner in which it is run.

Some propose going in to shut down sweatshops, liberating the poor workers from the hellholes they were subjected to.

I disagree.

Rather than taking away the only source of income that many have, improve how they are operated.

Think about it:

You shut down sweatshops, where are people supposed to work?

Oh the US will save them? Give them our jobs? Then, what happens to our citizens? When will the cycle end? How can you attempt to save others when your own people are struggling as well?

This is in no way me saying to screw the world and turn our back on those in need, merely me saying to think things through before you speak on it.

People often try to rush in and fix a "problem" without sitting down and thinking about the source of the issue and the effects - both long term and short - of their hypothesized "solution."

So yes. This was supposed to be a SparkNotes version. ...it wasn't.

But in summary, I do not disagree with sweatshops. That name alone brings forth negativity. All such an establishment is is a place of employment. For all intents and purposes, a corporate office could be considered a sweatshop - you go, work for a set amount of hours, get paid, return home, and do the same thing the next day. The problem, once again, is not the institution, but the way that it is executed. Rather than take away peoples' jobs and livelihood, take the time to make the necessary reforms.

The end.

Stone cold ignorance

The vulgar, ignorant, and heartless comments that I have seen on twitter have truly saddened me. Examples:

I don't think ANYONE should Help Haiti. A country filled with FRENCH speaking black people? I don't give a fuck!

I wish George Bush was still president, he'd know how to handle Haiti the right way...ignore it! <333>#fuckhaiti

If you're all going to yell at me can you not speak in ebonics? I can't understand your crazy ghetto language! lol #fuckhaiti

Seriously black people disgust me. why would i help haiti now? they deserve it for all you monkeys do to white america.

I'm off to Church! Have to thank God for the blessings he has given the world this past week<3

And people said racism was over because Obama was elected.

I elected not to put up usernames because at the end of the day it doesn't matter who say these things; this mentality goes so much deeper than an individual person. It's disheartening to know that, in the face of millions losing their lives, loved ones, and possessions, people find humor and validation to such comments, that they think it's ok.

At the same time it's beautiful to see people donating both money and time to aid those affected. It's things like that that give me hope.

Google it

Howdy. Hope that your holiday season, if you celebrate, was fabulous.

I always think it's ...not so much rude... but interesting that people automatically assume that you celebrate the holiday season. Yes I understand that a large majority of people do, but let us not forget that there are some who don't believe in the commercialization of these two months.

...

Yeah.

So essentially, I hope that these past few weeks have been grand. Not because people tacked a special meaning to them, but because they were another day that you could see. Ya dig?

Anywho.

I'm currently working on a paper that is due on Friday for an art class I took in Greece. Their semester doesn't end until the end of January so technically I still have school. Ain't that some ish.

So blah dee da, I'm sitting here, struggling like none other because, let's be honest, I'm not programmed to work between mid-December/January (thank you US school systems for being so lenient), and the few times I can focus I can't find the necessary material I need to support my paper.

Just now I hopped onto Google (one of the best things about the world wide web. I wish I came up with it) and tried a new set of search terms and boom! Just like that, everything I need to finish this bad boy is laid out for me.

And this got me thinking:

You can search and search all you want, but until you ask the right question, using the right words, you will never get the answer you want.

You'll get something close to it, something that could suffice, but doesn't fulfill your exact specifications.

What does this all mean?

I guess just know exactly what you're searching for or you'll have a hard time finding it, if at all. There are thousands of results out there; narrow them down by using the right keywords.

Goodness. I should write fortune cookies... or something.

On the true tragedy of it all

You know how, whenever reporting the end of someone's time on earth, people often refer to it as a 'tragic death?' Well, isn't that kind of redundant? Death is a permanent thing. Yes it one of the few things guaranteed to us, but that doesn't take away from the sadness of it all. No matter who someone is or what they did during their time among us, them losing the opportunity to feel the warmth of the sun or go through the simple complexity of inhaling and exhaling is, in itself, a tragedy. So why state the obvious? Every death is tragic, whether they starred in blockbuster films or sat outside asking for change. Now I'm not gonna sit here and act holier than thou, because I know I'm as guilty of taking things for granted as the next person, but every now and then tidbits such as this pop into my head.

...

That is all.

Space - the final frontier.

Regardless of your beliefs, religious or scientific, there is no way in goodness that you can deny the awe that the following photographs inspire. What I couldn't give to be able to see these in person:

For more pictures go here <--- click

Imagine, we're just a little dot in all of that. No matter what problems you have, whether or not you make your deadline, get the person your heart desires, win the lottery... none of that has any effect on the larger picture. Goodness. There is so much more out there and yet we often get caught up in the moment and what we want/need/think/feel when the truth is that at the end of the day none of that matters. The world will keep spinning, the stars will keep twinkling... the only thing that you can control is whether or not you'll take it all in. Wowsers.

To the Big Man Upstairs, kudos. You are quite the artist.

The stuff that lasts

As I sit here and attempt to complete one of the many projects standing between me and going home, I came to a realization:

I'm in love.

Now let me tell you, this is a life changing realization cuz from here on out I'll never be the same.

You see, the love between us took a while to mature, but now that it's here it's gonna last forever.

This is the stuff of fairy tales. Actually no. Not fairy tales, because those stories pale in comparison to what this is.

This is so much more.

You see, this wasn't love at first sight or any of that foolishness.

I mean, I've known this person for years, in fact longer than I've known anyone else.

I've seen them around town, they know the same people I do, they would be in the same room as me, and with all these encounters I thought I knew all that there is to know.

But then something happened.

I can't quite put my finger on it. Perhaps it was as I witnessed one of their successes. Or maybe it happened as I watched the way they handled what life threw at them, jumping over hurdles and sprinting along the track as if they were the next Usain Bolt.

See, there are so many memories that it's hard to pinpoint the one that made turned this contentment into full burning adoration.

Now, earlier I said that this love was meant to last, and I'm pretty sure it is. Now that I'm here there's no turning back. I mean yeah there will be off days, but when it's all said and done I know that this person will never ever desert me.

I'm in love and I have been for quite a while.

This is the life changing kind, the kind that brings that twinkle to your eye.

Cuz ladies and gentleman, I'm in love with me.

...

Ok back to work.

The giving of thanks

I'm thankful for all that I've lost, all that I have, and all that is to come, not just today, but every day. We are all a sum of the additions, deletions, divisions, and multiples that have occurred during our time here.

Enjoy your turkey, family, football, la dee dah, but most importantly enjoy your life. Enjoy the experiences, good or bad, that got you to this point.

Be thankful always.

I Wrote This For You...

Today during my usual tour of the world wide web I found what could possibly be the best blog ever.

Click it.

You should discover it too.

Oldie: Say Something

I was clearing out my hard-drive when I came across this gem. Enjoy.

******

When was the last time you had a conversation with someone?
And when I say conversation I mean face to face.
Not over the phone.
Not over the computer.
Personally, that is the kind of contact I thrive on.
I'm a face to face person.
The phone? Ehhh.
It's ok I guess. I've had a few worthy convos but I tend to stay away from it.
AIM?
I'll do it to keep in touch, but I'm not it's biggest fan.
I personally think that technology takes away from the face to face contact that can tell you about a person.
Wanna know how someone feels? Read their away message or Facebook status.
I can guarantee that on any given day, no matter how many people are on, at least one person will spill their hearts out in that little box, even though they would never directly express these thoughts to the person they're meant for.
It's as if they want everyone except the person the message is meant for to know how they feel because when you think about it, if you have that big of a problem with someone, technically you wouldn't be their friend on AIM or Facebook which means there's really no guarantee that they will see it.
You can never tell what a person is really thinking over telephone or cable wires.
55% of what we say is non verbal.
Yeah. Chew on that.
The sounds that reach your eardrum are a little less than half of what someone really wants to convey.
Face to face is the only way to tell if someone is nervous, excited, happy, lying, etc.
After all, that's the only way you can see the body language that corresponds to the above.
I hate when people try to have a serious conversation over AIM or through texting.
To me it's disrespectful.
If you're miles away I can understand.
But if you're down the road it basically means that you don't think it's important enough to address.
Why have we become so depended on technology to express ourselves anyway?
It completely eliminates the contact that makes all relations successful.
I dunno.
I think it makes everything a lot more difficult because of the confusion that can happen and the missed signals.
Don't get me wrong.
The phone and computer are some of the greatest inventions clearly but I feel that we're getting to the point where we've become too reliant.
What would happen if everything just...
stopped.
No phone connection.
No internet.
Nothing.
Would we be so willing to go back to the face to face that got us to this point in the first place?
Hmm...

Excuse my french...

... but hindsight is a female dog.

You know that question about what super power you could have?

Well screw flying, x-ray vision, and all that nonsense.

My super power would be to know.

To know every twist and turn, know every angle, know every possible outcome.

I'm talking about the cheat sheet to this 'choose your own adventure' that is life.

Now you may be thinking that the whole 'unknown' factor is what adds the spice to life.

I say hogwash! No, no it is not.

Sure when things work out and you get a nice surprise, like finding a few bills in a random coat pocket, or snagging those lone fries at the bottom of the bag, yeah that's nice.

But when you sit and realize you should have seen something from the jump and have to face the fact that the opportunity may have passed you by, that blows. A lot. Much like a helium tank at a birthday party.

So the moral of the story is hindsight is a major womp.

...

Although hypothetically, if an opportunity was that great and meant to be, shouldn't it still be there once you wisen up to it?

Webster knows a thing or two after all...

intimacy: the ability to fuse one's identity with that of someone else's without fear of losing your own

Why hello there

Woke up this morning to an email describing our rooming assignments

Went on Facebook to creep on the future roomie only to realize

She beat me to it

Have I met my match?