No definition

Today I was cruising around iChat (in ninja mode of course. I wasn't feeling very social) and saw the following away message from a male friend:

Fact of the day: every girl wants to be publicly claimed and the name matters more than the relationship

...What da quaaaaa?

Although I strongly dislike when people generalize with the word every I think he does, kinda sorta for the most part, have a point.

Everyone wants some form of acknowledgement. To some it's a simple look when they enter a room, for others it's a verbal verification that their presence is noticed. In terms of the kind of people Mr. Fortune Cookie was referring to, they need their private status to be publicly known in order to get personal satisfaction.

Example:

While abroad, two of my friends were hit by Cupid's arrow. One day the female, J, came to a group of us upset because, after spending all day with D, he 'ignored' her when she walked into a common area. She explained that they made dinner together, watched a movie, yada yada, but as soon as they got around people he acted like he didn't know her.

As a friend of both people involved and living with them in the same dorm, I can tell you that this was the furthest thing from the truth. Everyone in the program knew that the two were an item and it was obvious that they were both hit hard by the aforementioned arrow.

So what more did she want?

In her words: 'acknowledgement'

My question to her, and others like her, is what more acknowledgement do you need? If you know that, at the end of the day, you're the last person (s)he's going to talk to before going to sleep, if you know you can turn to them whenever, if you know that you're the one who comes to mind when a certain song comes on, blah dee blah, then why does it matter if other people know?

Now I'm not saying to have a secret relationship. That may work for some, but not for others. All I'm saying is why is a label so important? All boyfriend, girlfriend, wifey, boo, etc. are are words. What if Webster had given their definition to hangnail... or sashquat? Extreme, but seriously. You know what you are. Why does it matter if your friend Cindy Loo-Who finds out through Facebook? None of those words can truly capture the the joy, the happiness, the trials, or the tribulations of two people who choose to spend their time together.

To me, labels are necessary when you need to remind yourself of what something is such as labeling a document or can of peaches. Now this mentality can be because I've never been in a situation where any of this was necessary, but I would like to think that my lack of experience has nothing to do with it. As long as you and the person you're with are happy, why put a label on it? Why let the public into your private matters? Hakuna matata. Let things play out and whatever happens happens.

I can completely understand wanting some public acknowledgement. After all if you can't claim me in public you can't have me in private, meaning don't act as if I'm just another person on the street when you see me, but then expect to be all lovey dovey when we're alone (unless of course you both agree on this beforehand). At the same time, I'm me and you're you... we don't need to be joined at the hip (actually I'd strongly dislike that and get bored with you quickly). I think the strongest couples are those who spend time apart because, once they get together away from the public eye, they can re-discover the reasons why they chose each other.

I dunno. To each their own. I just personally think that if you need other people to see what you have then you're not confident in the strength of your bond with another.

I leave you with this track from Mario, one of the most underrated R&B singers around: