Long time...

no talk.

It's been mad long. Like... wowsers. The next post (when I have time to actually sit and devote time to it) will be an update.

In the meantime I leave you with this: http://vimeo.com/12838603

Make my day.

Un-Thinkable

If you ask me I'm ready.

I can't wait to meet my husband. I know that it's a ways away, but come on! I'm getting impatient.

Blah.

Sidenote: Alicia sang her azz off on this one.

LT4

"Doubt the first/Cry the second/Love the third/Live the fourth"

That is exactly what I did this past weekend.

My school has a retreat called Kairos that you have to enter a lottery to attend. Don't ask me about the selection process cuz I honestly couldn't tell you; word on the street is that you get chosen when it's your time, when you need it most in your life. Well it took me three years to get called (I actually forgot I had signed up freshman year) and it was worth every second of waiting.

There is a cloud of secrecy surrounding the event - there is no guarantee that you'll get chosen to go, you're not always aware of who is attending/has attended, and those that you know went won't discuss what goes on. It's not even like they make you swear to keep silent or anything; all participant just reach a mutual, unspoken understanding that to discuss it would be to utterly ruin it for future participants.

Although this is my personal blog, you never know who can stumble across such things on the world wide web and I would hate to be the person who denies future generations the joy I felt, the lessons that I learned. And I guess it could be said that if I wasn't gonna go into detail then why write it, but once again it's my blog and that's my prerogative at the moment (shout out to Bobby Brown).

All I will say is that this past weekend was one of the most powerful weekends of my life. I learned to look deep within myself and bring what's always been there to the surface.

The one secret I can tell you is that you're loved. Each and every one of us has impacted a life, whether we're aware of it or not. You may think a simple hi is nothing, but to someone else it's everything.

You are loved.

And that makes the world of difference.

I doubted the first day of the retreat. I cried the second. I loved the third. And for here on out, I'll be living everyday as if it were the fourth.

Avatar Surfin

If you've seen Avatar watch this video. I don't like the song, but I just HAD to put the two together:

Tall People Surfin from DeeMizzle on Vimeo.

What a beautiful mess

You know a performer is good when the crowd is silent.

Who Am I...

... to say what love is?

Love is one of the most powerful things a person can experience in their life, a sentiment that gives life it's meaning. Whether it's love of self, a friend, object, family member, or of the romantic nature, everyone at some point has experienced it.

So, who am I to say what love is?

To say who can love who and how they can show that affection.

I am a young woman who is attracted to the opposite gender. That is how I choose to live my life, that is what makes me comfortable.

But, who am I to say what love is?

To tell another that their version of it is skewed. That what they feel for another is wrong

I never understand why people have a problem with homosexuality. If the people in question are happy, why aren't you?

I strongly dislike when males are homophobic because, more often than not, they feel as though they are at risk somehow.

Get off your high horse and stop flattering yourself.

Not every female is attracted to you, so what makes you so sure that every homosexual male will be?

Now I'm in no position to judge another person, but if you're going to dislike something, please have a reason that holds water.

Who am I to say what love is?

I'm only a person who dreams of someday finding the love that others have been blessed with. The kind of love that transcends distance and time. The kind that is so meaningful that persecution and prejudice fails to tarnish it.

...

The end.

Random musings II

Not gonna lie, I waited until today to post because then it would be exactly a month since my last one. Yeah. That's how my mind works sometimes.

Today I had the illest epiphany during my morning commute. I was thinking about how wonderful it was outside and that got me thinking about how it was all because of global warming which is now known as climate change and is believed to be the result of what was referred to as the greenhouse effect way back when.

So, the following is what I wrote as I got off the train and walked ten minutes to my internship. Thank goodness for the notepad feature of the Crackberry:

*Ahem*

---------

The only thing that makes sense is that nothing makes sense. People go through life trying to name the nameless, explain the unexplainable, and predict the unpredictable.

First it was the greenhouse effect, now it's climate change. First it was trench warfare then it was the never ending threat of nuclear detonation.

We overanalyze, misread, and become cognitive misers only to fall short. Sometimes we get it right, but more often than not we miss a pivotal factor. In this seemingly never-ending choose your own adventure, each step we take leads to another, until we end up in a place with no idea when we chose the road that led there.

In life, contentment is average. Like in school you have your overachievers and those that could care less. Those who go through life planning and those who go with the flow. Those who try to cheat their way through and those who panic if they don't get the result they expected. To some, failure is not an option, for others it's expected. Some want to be the best, and some just want to pass. And in the end, we all get the same result.

Nothing makes sense. Everything that you know is only true for that moment. You're not the same person that you were when you started this. And no I'm not saying that these words are life changing, just that moments have passed by. Your older than you were when you started this. Use these next few moments wisely.