Love Rain

Woooooosah. I feel like I need a French beret hat, some bongos, and a steaming cup of cappuccino. *Snaps snaps snaps*

No definition

Today I was cruising around iChat (in ninja mode of course. I wasn't feeling very social) and saw the following away message from a male friend:

Fact of the day: every girl wants to be publicly claimed and the name matters more than the relationship

...What da quaaaaa?

Although I strongly dislike when people generalize with the word every I think he does, kinda sorta for the most part, have a point.

Everyone wants some form of acknowledgement. To some it's a simple look when they enter a room, for others it's a verbal verification that their presence is noticed. In terms of the kind of people Mr. Fortune Cookie was referring to, they need their private status to be publicly known in order to get personal satisfaction.

Example:

While abroad, two of my friends were hit by Cupid's arrow. One day the female, J, came to a group of us upset because, after spending all day with D, he 'ignored' her when she walked into a common area. She explained that they made dinner together, watched a movie, yada yada, but as soon as they got around people he acted like he didn't know her.

As a friend of both people involved and living with them in the same dorm, I can tell you that this was the furthest thing from the truth. Everyone in the program knew that the two were an item and it was obvious that they were both hit hard by the aforementioned arrow.

So what more did she want?

In her words: 'acknowledgement'

My question to her, and others like her, is what more acknowledgement do you need? If you know that, at the end of the day, you're the last person (s)he's going to talk to before going to sleep, if you know you can turn to them whenever, if you know that you're the one who comes to mind when a certain song comes on, blah dee blah, then why does it matter if other people know?

Now I'm not saying to have a secret relationship. That may work for some, but not for others. All I'm saying is why is a label so important? All boyfriend, girlfriend, wifey, boo, etc. are are words. What if Webster had given their definition to hangnail... or sashquat? Extreme, but seriously. You know what you are. Why does it matter if your friend Cindy Loo-Who finds out through Facebook? None of those words can truly capture the the joy, the happiness, the trials, or the tribulations of two people who choose to spend their time together.

To me, labels are necessary when you need to remind yourself of what something is such as labeling a document or can of peaches. Now this mentality can be because I've never been in a situation where any of this was necessary, but I would like to think that my lack of experience has nothing to do with it. As long as you and the person you're with are happy, why put a label on it? Why let the public into your private matters? Hakuna matata. Let things play out and whatever happens happens.

I can completely understand wanting some public acknowledgement. After all if you can't claim me in public you can't have me in private, meaning don't act as if I'm just another person on the street when you see me, but then expect to be all lovey dovey when we're alone (unless of course you both agree on this beforehand). At the same time, I'm me and you're you... we don't need to be joined at the hip (actually I'd strongly dislike that and get bored with you quickly). I think the strongest couples are those who spend time apart because, once they get together away from the public eye, they can re-discover the reasons why they chose each other.

I dunno. To each their own. I just personally think that if you need other people to see what you have then you're not confident in the strength of your bond with another.

I leave you with this track from Mario, one of the most underrated R&B singers around:

On the true tragedy of it all

You know how, whenever reporting the end of someone's time on earth, people often refer to it as a 'tragic death?' Well, isn't that kind of redundant? Death is a permanent thing. Yes it one of the few things guaranteed to us, but that doesn't take away from the sadness of it all. No matter who someone is or what they did during their time among us, them losing the opportunity to feel the warmth of the sun or go through the simple complexity of inhaling and exhaling is, in itself, a tragedy. So why state the obvious? Every death is tragic, whether they starred in blockbuster films or sat outside asking for change. Now I'm not gonna sit here and act holier than thou, because I know I'm as guilty of taking things for granted as the next person, but every now and then tidbits such as this pop into my head.

...

That is all.

Space - the final frontier.

Regardless of your beliefs, religious or scientific, there is no way in goodness that you can deny the awe that the following photographs inspire. What I couldn't give to be able to see these in person:

For more pictures go here <--- click

Imagine, we're just a little dot in all of that. No matter what problems you have, whether or not you make your deadline, get the person your heart desires, win the lottery... none of that has any effect on the larger picture. Goodness. There is so much more out there and yet we often get caught up in the moment and what we want/need/think/feel when the truth is that at the end of the day none of that matters. The world will keep spinning, the stars will keep twinkling... the only thing that you can control is whether or not you'll take it all in. Wowsers.

To the Big Man Upstairs, kudos. You are quite the artist.

No direction

So yeah. There is really nothing in specific that I need to touch on, but so much I need to get out so let's begin shall we?

- I'm home. It's not as weird as I thought it would be, but it's noticeably different. Borderline painfully so.

- As soon as I walked through the front door I cried. Then I sucked it up because I hate seeing my mom cry and we usually set each other off.

- Love Jones is a fabulous movie. The soundtrack is equally official.

- The Young Money album is better than I thought it would be, as is Lil Wayne's rock album. Please note that I said better than I thought. They will need some time getting used to.

- While I speak about music, if you have not done so, please get familiar with Robin Thicke. He is amazing.

- My hair turned brown. I dunno how, but it did. I kinda like it.

- Even though I miss the people I just spent the last three months with, I'm horrible at keeping in touch. I really need to work on that.

- It's cold. That means it's cuddling season. Ha.

- If you have to ask the question, then the answer is most likely no.

- Just because you know the above doesn't mean that you'll be completely satisfied, so go ahead and ask it. Once you get the answer, act accordingly.

- I sometimes get breathe/breath, loose/lose confused. For the latter I just think of baseball.

- Sometimes laughter truly is the best medicine. If that doesn't work, there's always hot cocoa or peppermint tea.

- 2009 is almost over. What have you done with your year? If you're not thoroughly pleased, no worries; there are 14 days left. Get busy.

- I don't believe in letting a calender determine who I am. If I see something that needs to be adjusted, I try my best to do it when it's brought to my attention. In other words, I don't believe in resolutions.

- Tiger Woods was named athlete of the decade with 56 of 142 votes. This makes me extremely happy. Congrats homie. Considering that you single handedly changed a sport, you deserve it. Keep your head up and your pants zipped. And to those fools with their sob stories: Silly rabbit, of course you weren't the only one! If he cheated WITH you of course he cheated ON you.

... ok. I think I' all random-ed out. Hope you have a splendiferous day.

The end

As I sit in my room and look around, I see three suitcases in the corner, ready to be dragged down the stairs.

How the goodness did this semester end so quickly?

I've done so much and have so much more to experience

I've gone through so many things, but have yet to even cross the threshold

At 6:45 AM I will be boarding a plane back to the States and leaving a piece of me behind

Como triste...

Could it be...

I woke up with this classic playing in my head and 7.5 hours later it's still there; Im not mad at all. Enjoy:

Sidenote: Soul Train used to be THAT show. Don Cornelius held it down like gravity, Shemar Moore, while aesthetically pleasing, was just aiight, and I don't even know who is in charge now/if it still airs. A classic in itself.

The stuff that lasts

As I sit here and attempt to complete one of the many projects standing between me and going home, I came to a realization:

I'm in love.

Now let me tell you, this is a life changing realization cuz from here on out I'll never be the same.

You see, the love between us took a while to mature, but now that it's here it's gonna last forever.

This is the stuff of fairy tales. Actually no. Not fairy tales, because those stories pale in comparison to what this is.

This is so much more.

You see, this wasn't love at first sight or any of that foolishness.

I mean, I've known this person for years, in fact longer than I've known anyone else.

I've seen them around town, they know the same people I do, they would be in the same room as me, and with all these encounters I thought I knew all that there is to know.

But then something happened.

I can't quite put my finger on it. Perhaps it was as I witnessed one of their successes. Or maybe it happened as I watched the way they handled what life threw at them, jumping over hurdles and sprinting along the track as if they were the next Usain Bolt.

See, there are so many memories that it's hard to pinpoint the one that made turned this contentment into full burning adoration.

Now, earlier I said that this love was meant to last, and I'm pretty sure it is. Now that I'm here there's no turning back. I mean yeah there will be off days, but when it's all said and done I know that this person will never ever desert me.

I'm in love and I have been for quite a while.

This is the life changing kind, the kind that brings that twinkle to your eye.

Cuz ladies and gentleman, I'm in love with me.

...

Ok back to work.

Reflections

Note: thank you Don for the idea. This is exactly the break I (didn't) need from my project.

saying no to:

negativity

deception

any thoughts of 'i can't...'

being taken for granted

holding it all in

saying yes to:

me

happiness

what's in store

expanding my horizons

giddy about:

going home

what the future will bring

possibilities

deeply inspired by:

those who can keep on truckin even when it seems like the gas tank is empty

people can string words together in ways that make them jump off a page

trust

kindess

obsessed with:

chocolate peanut m&m's

laughter

happiness

heels

in love with:

happiness

the person I'm becoming

the kindness and wit of the human race

haunted by:

not saying goodbye

saved by:

the knowledge that even if I wasn't able to say it at that exact moment, my dad knows that he helped to mold me into the woman I'm becoming

my mom

friends

myself

Word.

Things I strongly dislike

The word hate. There are very few things that deserve the amount of energy such an emotion requires. Ignorance. Tardiness. CP TIME IS NOT AN EXCUSE. Pettiness. Spicy food. The misuse of they're/there/their, breath/breathe, it's/it. Please. Ask Santa for a grammar lesson. Cockiness. The word 'swag'. Soulja Boy and those like him. The fact that celebrities have to apologize for personal issues. Pulling the race card as an excuse for shortcomings. Tomatoes.

...this list was hard to formulate.

Things I love

lyrics that make my heart sing along. fusions of words and punctuation marks that take my breath away one minute and speed up my heart in the next. love. chocolate peanut m&m's. crispy pad thai. sushi. jamaican food. Greek chocolate. oreo cheesecake. food in general. laughing so hard that my abdominal muscles ache. hugs. awkward situations. 'that's what she said..." smiling. kindness. art. reading. walking. running. driving fast. silence that speaks volumes. that look. people who deserve it. helping others. finding myself. sexy heels. when you find that one nail polish color that you'll never not use again. music. car chase scenes. psychological thrillers. mushy gushy crap. wit. sarcasm. cooking. rings. leather jackets. reciprocity. old school songs. being random. midnight walks with no destination. the museum. he who as of now remains unnamed, unknown, unseen, undiscovered.

My planner...

... looks like an extra outta A Nightmare on Elms Street:

Dec. 3 - European Union Quiz

Dec. 4 - Organizational Behavior Quiz

Dec. 7 - Organizational Behavior Case Study Due

Dec. 8 - Advertising Project Due

Dec. 11 - Organization Behavior Quiz, Advertising Final, European Union Final

Dec. 14 - Greek Final, Organizational Behavior Final

Dec. 15 - Go home

...

Shiznit. I'd be jealous too.